blueskyresumesblog

Are you getting in your own way?

How many times do you tell yourself that you can't do something, or that you're not very good at something?

I like to draw, and people often look at my work and say 'I could never do that.' When I write for clients, they often tell me 'I can't write.'

Today, I heard from a friend who had written an entry for a contest, but wasn't sure about sending it. She said "I'm not a good writer - can you tell me if this is OK?"

There followed an eloquent and beautiful and touching story that left me shaking my head about her comment that she's not a good writer.

I guess we get ideas in our head about what makes a good writer (or artist or musician or accountant or whatever) and maybe in school we got lots of red pen on our work, so we tell ourselves that we can't do it.

For me it was math. I was terrible at math in school. I froze up when I was asked a question. I flunked all my exams. And then I erected defenses to protect myself - I didn't try in math class. I made it obvious I wasn't listening. I passed notes and made jokes. That way, when I failed, it was no big deal. And I did fail! Every single time.

But years later, as an adult, I wanted to study psychology. The masters program at NYU required that we study for GSE exams - if you've never taken a GSE, they're like SATs. This meant I had to study math. This time, I had no one to distract me and I wasn't trying to impress my friends. I had to do this because I wanted to take this course.

I studied and studied and studied for 6 months. Almost every night when I got home from work, I spent 2 or 3 hours taking tests and working out algebra. Yes I was FUN to be around!

And when I took the test, I was convinced I would fail. After all, I suck at math.

The test was computerized, so when you were done answering, they showed you your score. I nearly passed out and hit my head on the desk when it showed that I had aced the math! I got 740, which was higher than my English score!

I almost stopped breathing. How could that be?? That's the exact opposite of what I had thought about myself for 20 years. (Remember, I got Es in my all my high school classes).

It was a huge lesson to me about how we frame things and what that framing does to us. And now when my friend says 'I can't write' and then sends me a beautiful and moving piece of writing, I think of that experience.

She can SO write! But she thinks "writing" is something more than just putting her feelings down on paper. She thinks there is some art to it that she doesn't know. She thinks that using big words equals good writing, or that fancy sentence structure and good grammar are the keys. But the keys to good writing are stripping away all of that and just communicating what's in your heart, and everyone can do that.

I'm not suggesting that we can all succeed at everything - I'm pretty sure I wouldn't make it to the Top 12 on American Idol no matter how hard I tried - but I am saying that sometimes the frames through which we view our capabilities are defective. And that whenever we find ourselves saying 'I can't do that,' we should challenge the assumption and maybe give it a try anyway.

Are you Shopping, or Asking Permission?

Imagine going to buy an expensive suit or dress. Would you walk into the store, pick up the first few items you see, and then go ask for permission to buy them?

Not likely!

If you're like me, you'd go in and out of 10 stores trying to find exactly what you want and - after much huffing and puffing and frustration - you'd finally find the suit or dress that fits perfectly.

To me, this is how the job search should be viewed. Unless you are in dire straits and need a job - any job - desperately, you should view the job search process as a shopping expedition. Your goal is to find the position that suits you perfectly.

When an interview doesn't go well, or you don't get a call about your resume, it's the same as trying on a dress that doesn't fit right. It looked great on the peg and you REALLY wanted it, but it just wasn't a good fit for you.

"But I really wanted that job!" you say.

Well, we've all seen what happens when people buy that outfit anyway. They can't button the jacket, or the dress hangs in bulky folds because it's too big. That's what it feels like to take a job that's the wrong fit. Sometimes, you don't know that it was the wrong fit - sometimes you think you'd be great in the role. But in my experience, usually (not always, but usually) the recruiter or manager has a good reason for not choosing you. It's not a reason you could ever guess, because you don't know the company or the job the way he or she does. But it's usually a valid one.

If you think of the job search as a shopping expedition, you'll shake that off the way you shake off the fact that the dress doesn't fit. You'll move on to the next store knowing that eventually you're going to find the right thing.

But what about when the suit fits, but still doesn't look right?

Those are the times when the hiring manager wants you. He makes an offer - maybe even a good one - but something doesn't feel right and you have doubts about taking that job.

Whether we're talking about a dress or a job - listen to your gut! Don't buy! There's a reason you have those doubts and it's not like this is the last dress/job in the world. There are lots of other options.

So as you look for your next position, don't think of your search as a series of tests (the equivalent of asking  'please can I have this job?'( where the interviewer either says 'yes' or 'no.' Think of it as a shopping expedition and don't settle for anything less than the perfect fit.

Do You Need a Hobby?

Pastel Journal points to a New York Times article linking hobbies to improved job performance.

According to the article, doing something you love stimulates creativity and refreshes a tired mind. But there are also other benefits:

Hobbies also enhance self-esteem and self-confidence. Feeling that you are solely defined by your job — even if it is going well — can raise your chances of experiencing anxiety, depression and burnout, because you don’t have a perception of yourself outside of work, said Michelle P. Maidenberg, a psychotherapist and business coach in New York, and clinical director of Westchester Group Works, a center for group therapy.

“When people rely only on their role at work to foster self-esteem, that alone cannot typically fulfill their needs,” she said. If you are unhappy with your work performance, you are more inclined to define yourself as inadequate, but if your identity is varied — businesswoman, mother, wife, painter, cook — you can reflect on your success in those other things, she said.

As our work days become increasingly stressful and demanding, and technology ensures that our bosses can reach us at all hours of the day and night, I think hobbies - particularly those that are creative in some way - are more important than ever.

Read the whole article here.

Who Knew I Could Do That?

I've always been able to draw. Rendering a likeness of something comes relatively easily to me. Back in college, I took a lot of art classes and loved them. I favored landscapes - often in charcoal or acrylic paint - and I would spend hours working on my projects. But then real life intruded and I got busy and I forgot how much I enjoyed art.

Until recently. I'm not even sure why, but I decided to take a 6-week drawing class. When you run your own business, you can find yourself still at your computer at 10 PM and I figured this would keep me away from that at least one night a week.

The class was fun, and I found I could still draw well - all my projects looked the way they were supposed to. No stress. No challenge. Until I found out that there was another 6-week class starting right afterwards. The second class was going to be very different. It was to be called 'Drawing from the Mind's Eye' and it would focus entirely on imaginative drawing. It wouldn't matter that I could draw a self-portrait well - this class would require creativity and imagination. I said I wouldn't be attending. "Creativity's just not my thing," I told the teacher. "And anyway, I'm much more interested in what's real rather than what's imaginary."

But then when class-night rolled around and there was no class, I really missed it. And so I started to alk myself into attending. 'What's the worst that could happen?' I asked myself. 'People might laugh at my drawings? They'd never do that! (Well, not out loud anyway.)' So two days before the start of the new session, I signed up.

Let me tell you - it's SO much fun! It turns out I do have an imagination. I had ideas as soon as the teacher started to explain the first assignment, and I had a lot of fun working them out on the paper. I may not be Van Gogh (most definitely am not!) but who cares? This is for me.

I've promised myself that I'll remember this the next time I'm tempted to let fear get in the way of stretching myself. I decided to share it with you in case you sometimes have the same problem.

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It's all a State of Mind

I've been re-reading one of my favorite books recently. The Art of Possibility is about many things, but it's mainly it's about how our perceptions affect the way we experience life. Unlike the latest sensation, The Secret, the authors don't claim that we can make things happen just by wishing for them - but they do claim that we can control the way we feel by changing the way we look at things.

George Blomgren writes about the same thing today in discussing age discrimination. George tells of two people he knows - one employed and one unemployed:

"I know an older job seeker who feels perpetually discriminated against. He’s projected the same attitude as long as I’ve known him. He believes that employers see him as inflexible, unwilling to learn new skills, set in his ways. [...] I have another colleague, a woman who is almost 15 years senior to my friend. Every time I interact with this woman, I am left in awe of the tremendous depth of knowledge and experience she embodies. She is also amazingly hip to new technologies, trends, and attitudes. She works hard to stay one step ahead, and she’s not bitter about anything, not even some significant health problems."

I'm sure you can guess which of the two is employed. Read the whole post here.

I agree with George that a positive attitude can't wipe out all the prejudices faced by older workers, but the way we perceive ourselves certainly impacts the way others perceive us.

If we approach the world with the attitue that we're about be screwed, people will react accordingly. So when looking for a job, it's important to find a way to maintain a psoitive outlook, even when things don't go your way. I know it sounds easier than it is, but if you need help, I recommend The Art of Possibility.

Stop Applying and Start Marketing!

When you go shopping for a new car, do you send an email to all the dealers in your area, asking if they'll please let you buy their car? How about when you need a new pair of shoes? Would you walk around the mall looking for a store that would consider accepting you as a customer?

Of course not! You choose the car you want. You look at all the shoes on offer and select the ones you like. You are in control of those decisions, as you should be.

So why is it so different when it comes to job search? Why, instead of shopping around for a position that suits them, do so many people ask random companies to hire them?

And why do so many people jump at the first job that's offered, whether or not it's a good fit?

I really don't think it needs to be that way for most people. I think it's possible to completely change the way you think about your job search - to shift gears from asking someone to hire you, to shopping around for the opportunity that best suits you.

Don't get me wrong. I understand that financial concerns can sometimes force us to take less-than-perfect positions - but in those cases, you can take the emergency job and still apply the principle I'm going to talk about here to find the job that is right for you in the long-term.

The shift I want you to make is to first understand that you are uniquely valuable. You have a set of skills, experiences and accomplishments that no one else has. And somewhere there are organizations who need what you have to offer. This applies whether you are a new entrant into the job market or a seasoned executive.

You goal during job search should not be to randomly fire out thousands of copies of your resume - but to find and contact those companies who need what you have to offer. In other words, look for the people who are buying what you're selling.

There are 3 steps to shopping for the right job:

1) Know who you are.

You can't know who needs you, until you truly understand what you have to offer.

I call this 'defining your value proposition.' To do this, think about what others say about you. Consider when you're at your best. Think back over your work history. Identify exactly how you add value to your employers. As an example, my value proposition is:

I combine prior experience as a Human Resources executive, and my knowledge of marketing, to write resumes that help people get the job of their dreams.

What's yours?

2) Define your Target Market

Now that you know what your strengths are, you can start to select companies who value those strengths. For example, if you're a retail employee whose biggest strength is being able to connect with customers and make them feel good, look for retailers who truly value customer service - not just in their slogans but in their actions - and then write a resume that highlights your customer service talents.

If you're an executive whose strength is turning around struggling operations, research to find companies in need of those skills and approach them directly with a resume that highlights exactly what you have done in those areas.

If you're a web designer with a special talent for designing websites that sell, highlight that as your value proposition and create a resume centered on that to send to all the web design agencies in your area. Your resume will appeal to the agencies who value and need that skill set.

Will you eliminate a lot of possibilities this way? Absolutely! But they're the wrong opportunities anyway, so they'll eat up a lot of your time and should you be unlucky enough to get the job, they won't make you happy.

3) Communicate Your Value Proposition

Don't try to make your resume and cover letters a catalog of everything you've ever done well in your career - instead focus on communicating why you are uniquely qualified to meet the company's needs. If customer service is your message, make that the focus of your resume and cover letter. Quote from customer 'thank-you' letters or performance reviews to support your claims. Highlight accomplishments that relate to good customer service. Use every word to show why you are the PERFECT fit.

And carry this over into your interviews. Make customer service the focus of your answers to questions like 'why should we hire you?' and 'What's your greatest strength?'

This approach would be cold and manipulative if you didn't start from your own strengths. It would be wrong to just identify what a company wants and then target all your communications towards showing you have those skills if you don't. But when you're starting from your authentic self - your unique value proposition - this approach is not only the most likely to secure you a position quickly, it's the most likely to secure you the right position.

Si, se Puede!

Billie Sucher tells a funny and inspiring tale of taking up a new hobby over on Career Hub. I particularly love her description of the helpful sales clerk.

Asked the associate what tools and resources one would need if one wanted to start painting and one had zero, zilch experience in this skill area. She gave me a near-nasty look and said "Why are you gonna' paint if you don't know nothin' about it?" I offered a lame "why not?" response, only to wonder later why I hadn't quipped the confident "because I can" line. The Paint Associate (TPA) suggested that I start with "on sale" and "clearance items" so "you won't be out too much when you quit." Hmm. Quit? Clearly, she was ahead of me in the transition process.

As an ex-pat Brit, I am following England's progress in the World Cup. Most Americans don't care about football (or soccer as it's called here) but in other countries, it's practically a religion.

England football fans are a long-suffering bunch. Often touted as favorites for the final, we never actually do very well and it doesn't seem to matter how many superstars we have on the field, they always play like, well, like England.

So, despite the fact that the team has now advanced to the quarter finals, none of my friends back home are very enthusiastic preferring not to get their hopes up. Each win is greeted with responses along the lines of "well, they won, but they didn't play very well. It's only a matter of time."

By contrast, I recently found out that the entire country of Ecuador took national holidays to watch their games and all joined in with the chant "si se puede" which means "yes we can." When the team lost to England, Ecuadorians poured out onto the streets to celebrate how far their team had advanced before losing.

We England fans remind me of Billie's Paint Associate. I much prefer the Ecuadorian outlook. If only I knew how to adopt it!